Co-create

My freedom becomes your oppression because I know no better than this, I am often empty as you criticze my belonging. And you are just right I’m am not a fit here anymore… Your trash my treasure your treasure my trash. I am forever this enigma unchained because the obyss becomes you! So listlessly wrestling the past I can become unmoored, un vacant, above infinitude nothing less than a simple sad slanderer was once.

All Things Change, Regardless

When the present ceases to be lived as a means to an end I will become a wake.

Reaching is what matters when there is something to reach

fish the main stream, something near to fringe,

the countless angles left open contracted into a familiar smell that lasted among dreams.

A rifting spell of shade.

The most solid forms come to find themselves unending edgeways.

The many special cravings that cease along the collapsing gap.

Where are all the forgotten?

Upon the very moment they wish to cease existence?

unified in victorious reaping? still wound up on chance?

From the phone I heard the voice tell me,

“I wanted you to fight so that all would be resolved, so that you could bend in spite.”

Still Kickin

There are a lot of things to see in this huge world and a lot of books to read. One book I am reading right now is called “The Freedom of Being at Ease” by Jan Frazier. This book was a gift to me from my dear sister Traci who has become a wonderful support for me in recent months especially as I have been feeling a little lost as to my exact purpose from day to day since I am currently no longer in school.

I’ve decided now is as good a time as any to read some books and do some studying on my own before I continue school, that way I can be sure to invest wisely in furthering my education. It goes without saying that what I have learned much from my  education up to this point and it has been priceless and unique.

Make it out

Create a dreamscape and let it fly free.
Drifting ever endlessly.

Friday the 14th

I’ve worked many places in Nashville, mostly restaurants

And on Tuesday

You said something that resounded, not because you were correct in your harshness or because any pang of guild lay on my conscious. Simply because you were incidentally correct,
That my best bidding would seem to mean reflect, and re-reflect
So my empty space can be your harbor or so I dream and you dream and on Tuesday

A Category for my life

I am here and I am there. I am wanting to be heard, seen and approved.

I’m a mist I’m a blur, I’ve never really had a doubt that I was on my own in a grave many ways.

I’d love to create something you love from something I love, just to shake things up a bit.

I’d die to be heard

I’d smile just to lay in peace among the herd.

I’m empty on my truest days, but that doesn’t make me blue.

When my soul is free. And life’s just a simple day under kind sunshine.

I’m free to be no longer me. I’m free to open my ears to the sounds of nature.

I see life, beautiful life and I long to hold it.

I see life, struggling life and I wish to quell it’s burden.

I see life, cold life and I pray it will subside.

I see life, painful life and I will it to heal.

I see life, routine and burdensome and I wish to go far away.

But I am not this person who has seen so many things.

I am not this pressure longing to be released.

I am only a small piece of a great expansive puzzle that connects the world invisibly.

When I forget myself completely and live in and with love, I become a perfect incompletion.

when love becomes weakness I find life difficult to bare so much I should die, unpitied, unexplained and undesired, understood.

Josh Ritter (The Animal Years)

Jason Holley’s painting of this horse trapped on a log give a mellow and  subdued feeling. The  stony and gracefully colors and the horses gaze down towards the water give a very concerning and somewhat desperate effect. The large crevasse in the horses back is strange but meaningfully in the shape of a saddle. The color combination and lines within the water make the painting beautiful, and the desaturated colored flowers give it a far reaching poetic element. I really can hardly take my eyes off it.

Beck (The Information)

I liked this album cover because of the combination of texturized looking shapes and because of the originality of the design. The type that is used for his name also looks techie in a cool way. The color of the clouds and the lines that are shown upon the buildings are a nice feature. The metallic looking spheres are also interesting. I think this album cover is notable because it appears to be on graph paper and the representational images are random and unexplainable. It’s a fantasy hodge podge that creates a video game like picture in which we imagine Beck as the star character.

: ( Martha, Mercy, May, Marlene : (

I went into this movie with on open mind because my girlfriend wanted to see it, and the description was not that bad really. But I feel obligated to say that this movie was a soap opera. I wasted nearly two hours of my life and I wish I could have them back.

My girlfriend actually really liked it which makes me question her overall tast in movies. Honestly I know she likes a lot of crap movies that comes on lifetime but I really thought this one had a chance, that was until I realized that it was going to be one of those movies that has zero interesting or likable characters.

One frustrating element I found was that Zoey would not talk to anyone about anything which seemed to make the movie more about someone who is not only disturbed, but unexplainably so. If her ongoing flashbacks were supposed to raise understanding or some kind of realization they fell short. She was abused by these people obviously and that is a sad story, a horror story, that goes knowhere.

So what we have here is my least favorite kind of movie in which the viewer is playing the escapee who never escapes. The rude comments from Zoey and situations she mindlessly accepts durring her time with the cult are foder for disproval for her some what zombiefied character. The flashbacks which began early on and continued up until the end became an interuption. This strange girl does not invoke interest but only sympathy. She is hateful to her sister and her husband. She acts like a spoilt child. I find the flatness of the two sisters relatioinship to be a heavy burden on the opportunity for even a sliver of hope that anything but a horror will unfold. In my opinion the character  Zoey evolves only into a parinoid  psychopath who is insensitive enough to endanger the only people who can really help.

Movies that make me feel like I need to escape are not worth my effort. If I were smarter I would have escaped  from the theatre in time to get my money back but instead I hear to tell about it.

Nashville, I encourage you to see a better movie. Try a classic foreign film or the more recent Tree of Life.